


Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

by TarjaAlexandria



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 08:34:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14040321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TarjaAlexandria/pseuds/TarjaAlexandria
Summary: Sara gives the Legends a day off and ends up drunk in her office...aka I'm apparently bad at summaries, but if you're looking for angst, I got you.P.S.: the title is from "While your lips are still red" from Nightwish, I highly suggest listening to it.





	Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting a fanfic, please be nice to me... also, English is not my first language :/

The room was quiet. Actually, the whole ship was quiet, not a sound to be heard on the Waverider. No ever-optimistic comments from Ray, no sassy puns from Zari, not even a single grunt from Mick. Having defeated Mallus a few days before and with no anachronisms to fix, Sara had given her team the day off knowing that even the Legends needed a break every now and then. Nate and Amaya were on a date, Mick was doing God knows what in Aruba and Ray had taken Zari to a theme park since she had never been to one (and honestly, what was the deal with those two? There were some weird vibes there, she’d have to keep an eye on them). And Sara? Well, Sara’s day off turned into her having one too many drinks in her office on the Waverider.

If there’s one thing you need to understand about Sara Lance is that she doesn’t do normal. She’s a former assassin and vigilante and she’s also the captain of a freaking timeship, so her life’s definitely not lacking in the adventure department. Adventure is her new normal, which is why normalcy is completely and utterly boring for her. However, there were a few normal things that she did enjoy and one of them was the taste of scotch. And if she’d happened to drink a lot more than she planned to and ended up drunk off her ass? Well, it was her day off, after all, and there was no one around to judge her for it.

As she finished her glass of scotch, she realized the bottle was empty, so she shakily crossed the room to grab another one. Once she got it, she made her way back to her desk and dropped on her chair with a huff. Opening the bottle, she poured herself another glass and managed to knock several items off her desk in the process. “Fuck, maybe I’m drunker than I thought”, she said to herself as she got on her knees to clean up the mess she’d made. She was almost done when she saw it. It being the stupid Time Bureau pin that Ava always wore on that goddamned pantsuit of hers. “Only Aves can rock that ugly thing”, Sara mused with a grin on her face. “Wait a second, how did this end up here? And why the hell am I drinking when I could be making out with my goddess of a girlfriend?”. Making up her mind, Sara picked up the pin and walked to the bridge of the ship.

“Gideon, give me a line with Ava, please.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Captain.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Sara asked furrowing her brows. “Look, I may be drunk, but I’m still the Captain, so…”

“As I said, Captain Lance, I can’t call Agent Sharpe.” Gideon said with finality and something akin to sadness in her voice.

“Why not? Seriously, Gideon, am I missing something here? ‘Cause honestly, I don’t have the time for this, I wanna see my girlfriend.” Sara was starting to get mad.

“Captain Lance, I can’t…”

“She can’t call me because I don’t have a contact at the Time Bureau anymore.” Hearing Ava’s voice, Sara turned around with a smile and saw Ava by her desk. She went to hug her girlfriend, but she stopped halfway through seeing the sad expression on Ava’s face. 

“What’s wrong, babe? Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a contact there anymore? Did they fire you? Why would they do that? You’re their best agent. I’m gonna kick their asses…” Sara rambled, which was apparently something her drunk self did. Suddenly coming to a stop, she turned to Ava. “Shit, sorry, I’m here rambling and drunk and you probably need support right now.”  She took a step towards Ava, but froze when she took a step back in response. They stood by the desk, silent for a few moments before Sara asked. “Aves, seriously, what’s wrong? You’re freaking me out.”

“Sara…” Ava sucked in a pained breath and Sara wanted nothing more than to wrap her in her arms and make her feel safe, but she didn’t move. “Sara, do you remember how we defeated Mallus? 

“Yeah, sure, it happened a few days ago, why do you ask?”

“Tell me.”

“What?”

“Tell me how we defeated Mallus.”

“Ava, you were there. Seriously, did they fire you because of something you did then or what? I’m so confused right now.”

“Think, Sara. What happened then?”

* * *

 

_The Legends were winning. With a little help from the Time Bureau, they had retrieved all six totems and Amaya and Zari were performing the ritual to kill Mallus once and for all. They should have known it wasn’t going to be that easy, but they were still surprised when the Darkhs and Grodd showed up at the abandoned warehouse where they were hiding._

_“Rip, Ray, get Grodd! Nate, stop Nora! Ava and I will get Damien!” shouted Sara. Ava yelled some orders and the few agents that were there with them split up in two groups to help Nate and Ray, knowing that the two blondes could handle themselves against the older Darhk._

_Unsurprisingly, the two forces were evenly matched. The Legends had the numbers and technology, but Grodd and the Darkhs had brute force and magic. Ray managed to shrink Grodd to a more manageable size and the agents were able to reduce him, but not without many being injured and even killed in the process. Ava and Sara fought Damien side by side and eventually knocked him out long enough for Rip to tie him up and put a magic dampening device around his neck._

_That left only Nora, but being the literal incarnation of Mallus, she was not as easy to defeat. Nate was unconscious and most of the agents that fought with him were dead. Seeing that Nora was headed to Zari and Amaya, who were in a trance caused by the ritual, the remaining Legends tried to create a line of defense around them. However, Nora stopped before she reached them, put her hands on her head and started screaming in agony, her eyes turning red as Mallus came to the surface. Sara glanced over her shoulder and saw a light in the middle of the circle Amaya had created with the totems. The ritual was almost complete and the totems were dragging Mallus to the light, where he’d be destroyed. When she turned around, she saw Nora was unconscious on the floor. In front of her stood a black shadow with reddish edges that somewhat resembled a human form. When it looked at her, Sara froze, feeling the exact same thing she felt when she was possessed by Mallus._

_“You may destroy me, Legends.” Mallus stated with a voice that sent chills down everyone’s spines. “But make no mistake”, he said looking at Sara, “you will not win. I’ve seen your darkness, Sara Lance, and I’ll make sure you’re never free of it.”_

_As he said those words, he jumped forward faster than anyone could have predicted and dove into the light, which then turned even brighter and exploded, blinding everyone in the room and sending them to the floor. As the brightness faded, Sara got up and scanned her surroundings: Zari and Amaya had passed out due to the effort, Nora, Damien and Grodd were still down and the few agents that still stood were starting to assist the injured ones. Ray had gone to check on Nate as he seemed to be waking up and Rip was looking at her, wordlessly asking if she was okay. She nodded and smiled, already looking for Ava, who had stood just a few feet behind her. When she found her, however, the smile fell off her face. There on the floor laid Ava, eyes unfocused and a hole in her chest, right where Mallus had gone through. Running to her side, Sara dropped to her knees, cradled her and screamed…_

* * *

 

“No.” Sara said as she looked at Ava, whose chest was now covered in blood. “No, this can’t be…”

“I’m so sorry, Sara.” Ava said. “I’m not real…I’m just what your mind created.”

Sara leaned heavily on the desk, tears falling down her cheeks and sobs wracking her body. She remembered now. She remembered every cry in agony, the blood on her hands, the desperate pleas telling Ava to come back to her. She remembered Rip’s arms around her, the hole that seemed to split her chest open, just like Ava’s, the burn in her lungs every time she breathed. She remembered the pain that settled deep inside her, the darkness that Mallus talked about. She remembered giving the Legends the day off just so she could be alone and feel broken without everyone staring at her in pity. And she remembered picking up the bottle of scotch in hopes that it would help her numb the pain and forget for a while. But she was Sara Lance and the universe was set on not letting her get even that solace. She wasn’t just broken: she broke everything she touched. She reached for the bottle of scotch that she’d left open on the desk and took a long swig, hoping it would burn away the lump in her throat. It didn’t.

Willing herself to look up again, she saw not only Ava, but also Laurel looking at her with sad eyes. Still sobbing, she felt anger burning in her chest and threw the bottle at Ava, but it went right through. Picking up everything within her reach, she started throwing things at them, screaming.

“You promised, Ava, you fucking promised! You said we’d do this together, that we’d be happy, you fucking promised!” Sara yelled. “And you!” she said, turning to throw a glass at Laurel, “you said I could be the White Canary! You said I could be good, that I could save people! I can’t save anyone! Everyone that I love dies, I break everything I touch!”

She couldn’t breathe. Her chest was tight and she couldn’t breathe. She dropped to her knees and reached to try and grab something to steady herself. As she tried to look up, she saw Ava and Laurel were gone. Alone, she let herself be taken by the darkness and closed her eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, for what's worth, this hurt me too.  
> Hit me up on Tumblr (tarjaalexandria.tumblr.com).


End file.
